It's taken me twenty years to realise just how fake people are. I know how negative that sounds but really it's not a negative realisation at all but a massively comforting one.
Human nature programmes us all to compare ourselves to others. Social media is the best way we can do this. We are fed images and captions of places that people are taking themselves, who they are spending their time with and how amazing their life is. We are looking at a collage of carefully selected and edited photos showing us 'their lives'. People advertise themselves on social accounts and in conversation. Having a brutally truthful and honest discussion with someone about their life is enlightening but it is also super rare.
I am a very open person with the people in my life. I didn't really clock that this was unusual until fairly recently. I find myself being honest about my opinions and my life. I love acting as a hobby but when it comes to my life, I would rather show people the bare bones as it were. Lies only breed more lies. I actually find it impossible not to be honest. If someone asks me a question they'll get my real answer. I'm not driven by appearances and seeming OK. Sure, if I'm having a hormonal day, I might not choose to unleash my fire on an undeserving member of the public. But I also won't drag my smile up to my eyebrows and pretend rainbows fall from my arse - I suppose I find it too much effort.
There's one thing that I have learnt from my twenty years of living - it's OK not to be one hundred percent all the time. It's actually un natural and inhuman. I don't really mean that you should show your frown and be grumpy day-in, day-out because then you'll be Mr no mates. But maybe the next time someone asks you a question on how you're going - answer it honestly if you feel comfortable in their company.
As a result you might find that the person you are talking to will lose their fake facade and also open up. Alternatively you'll find yourself doing a mini monologue and feel alone. You may feel enlightened that you've had a bit of a chat about your 99 problems (but facing your emotions ain't one).
In a world where most people are saying how glorious their life is, in contrast I have often felt a bit alone and like a sack of problematic potatoes...It has taken a lot of digging to realise that people are mostly showing their fake surface. Most people have adopted the fake it til' you make it kind of approach. Which, I personally commend in one way but also feel like that must be a super tiresome life. It's true that we really don't know what people are going through. While I like to talk and chat, a lot of people prefer to either be private or convince themselves they're OK.
As part of turning twenty this month and feeling a little bit more like an adult since losing my 'teen' addition to my age - I have vowed to keep this in mind the next time I feel like my life is crumbling. I am an emotional person. I won't usually reveal this part of myself but I have always been honest and open about most aspects of my life. Being the antithesis to those who 'fake it', it can be hard to understand why my life doesn't feel/sound as perfect as theirs all the time.
Reality check - our lives are exactly the same. No one's life is 'perfect'. People have issues and anxieties, they just don't talk about them.
Are you a fake it til' you make it kinda human or an open bag of emotions?