Tuesday, 9 January 2018

Life after dropping out of Uni / Finding your path..


I have been pretty M.I.A ever since I wrote 'The Reality Of Being A Uni Dropout'. So in case you wondered - life does continue when you decide to 'dropout' of University.

There is a terrible stigma attached to people who drop out of University. They are almost seen as failures to those around them. I think some people deemed me clinically insane when I decided to drop out after one week.. I mean, I know I didn't give it a massive whirl but if it ain't right, it ain't right. I was insanely lost when I left University. I didn't know which direction I was going other than what seemed to be down. The options that are given to people in schools are 'uni' or 'uni' or....oh sorry there isn't another option it's just Uni. With this is mind - what the heck was I supposed to do but to wonder if I'd made a massive mistake?!

I knew that I wasn't alone. Statistics showed that there were dropouts here there and everywhere. I almost felt like I needed to join a dropout group chat just for moral support. I was back to the drawing board. I looked into more University courses (purely because that's all that exists, right?) and I also looked into getting thrown into work and apprenticeships.

When I looked into other University options I cried into my desktop..'Not this again', I thought to myself as I scrolled through various courses that bored me to my core.

Most of the jobs that I was interested in required a degree *shock*. This triggered further feelings of doubt..could I get a job without a degree?

Finally, I researched apprenticeships.

My understanding of apprenticeships prior to research was that they were for the less academically inclined and were mainly for labour trades. I knew I didn't want to be an electrician but a career in plumbing tickled my fancy...in another universe...

It took me a while but I stumbled across a large media company's website advertising for apprentice positions. I was shocked. I didn't even know that the media industry did apprenticeships, let alone one of the world's most popular TV media providers. I started scrolling further through the possibilities and options for the types of apprenticeships that were available. I found one in the digital and marketing sector. It looked perfect. The job description, the company I'd be working for and the invaluable opportunities and contacts that I would be making in the meantime were amazing. It was a creative role in an industry that has always been my other main passion other than fashion.

So I clicked apply and begun my application.

Months went by and I'd heard nothing back. In the meantime I was still trying to find a standard 9-5 to keep me sane but everything seemed difficult. I ended up doing jobs that I hated and I felt like Alice falling down the rabbit hole - finding herself drowning in her own tears. It was a tough little segment of my life. I knew I couldn't continue floundering around and I felt like I had no choice but to flounder. I felt like I was giving but getting nothing back.

Until I got an e-mail inviting me for a workshop day. Following the hardcore workshop day (which was full of challenging yet fun tasks), I got an e-mail asking me to attend an interview. A couple of hours after my interview, I got a phone call to say that I got the job.

I was absolutely overjoyed.

All my worries were lifted off my shoulders.
I no longer felt like a failure. Getting my apprenticeship position was harder than getting into University. The number of applications they had were in their thousands per spot.

I finally feel proud to say what I'm doing with my life. I feel a sense of achievement when I say where I work and what I do. I also feel excited about my future instead of petrified that I was destined for a fast food chain (not that there's anything wrong with that career path but boxing fried chicken isn't for me).

I have been doing my apprenticeship since September and I love it.
It is hard work and it's diverse. I don't have a 'daily schedule' because hello, it's a creative industry and there's something different everyday. The apprenticeship suits me wonderfully. It's a mixture of learning blocks and work time so I get to do the two things I love most. I'm making amazing contacts and getting to meet some incredibly talented people. I've made new friends and found new skills to develop.

I think a lot of 'bad vibes' surround apprenticeships and the opinions that people have of them are often pretty low. I hate to raise my hand and say that I'm guilty in thinking they were just designed for people who 'didn't want to go to Uni' or alternatively who couldn't go. When asked to describe apprentices a lot of people say 'lazy'. Some people don't even know what they are. Apprenticeships are basically a paid learning/work experience. You are employed by a company and you work for them, using your skills and learning new ones to complete daily tasks. In my case, the tasks are media based and are generally all things digital and marketing. That's a good thing because it's what I applied for. My job is a win-win situation because I get paid to learn whereas in University you pay a good buck of your own/borrowed money to be there.

I'm sure that I'll be chatting some more about my apprenticeship in the future because it's what I'm living and breathing from 9-5. Dropping out of University was so far the best thing I've ever done in my life. It saved me three years of enduring an educational path that I didn't want to do and has opened doors to opportunities that are more suited to me.

But, for now, I bid you farewell as my update is over. I'm doing an apprenticeship in a cool and funky place,  meeting cool and jazzy people and having a cool and snazzy time.

Have you cringed to death at my purposeful use of cool? Me too.
Goodbye.

Share:

Saturday, 6 January 2018

Let's Talk Aesthetic....

Ok, so I have a blog. But, something that I have been struggling with ever since the 'Big Dog' bloggers got into full force is my aesthetic.

I constantly feel inadequate. I don't spend time fiddling with filters and Photoshop to make my blog look clean and polished. To be honest it's a mixture of feeling like I am lucky if I have enough time to blog full stop and then feeling overwhelmed.

I love taking pictures. But, I often feel like I don't want to feature in photos. I also don't know where to start..
My favourite blogs, however, do have killer pictures. They have an aesthetic that is so perfect that it makes me feel relaxed and on edge all at once. I know that sometimes it can be as simple as using a consistent filter and it can't be that hard but still I seem to stress.... I don't attempt to be 'aesthetic goals' in any way. In fact, I really didn't care for a long time. Until I realised that I think it's damaging my blog.

On one of my many blogging breaks, I continued to read blogs. I also then compared my blog to the blogs that I love and that are marginally successful. I don't try and generate traffic to my blog. I don't try to grow my followers on any platform. That side of blogging didn't attract me. I only ever blogged for enjoyment. I didn't particularly aim to market my blog. But if I want to blog and make it worthwhile, surely I should be doing these things? Otherwise my blog gets lost in the many blog domains of the Internet now.

Sometimes I don't understand myself. I know that I should be taking all these steps if I want to continue blogging. I think I'm just stuck in my 2012 blog. In 2012 there wasn't a pressure of an aesthetic. First and foremost, for me personally, it was about my writing. I loved the creative process of writing and developing a blog post - starting with my frantic fingers dancing around the keyboard and developing it into a fully fledged blog post.

I have dipped in and out of blogging for the past two years. It hasn't been intentional. I just felt like I was out of my depth with the aesthetics. I never stopped loving writing and creating blog posts. I just knew that I was lacking in the steps that I needed to take to progress as a blogger.

I am a driven and motivated person. It's taken me this long to fully accept what I need to do to make my blog better and more modern. So, I guess, one of my goals for 2018 is to jump onto the aesthetic bandwagon. Pictures do matter when it comes to blog posts. They liven up the words. When I was little I loved a good picture book. They made the words come to life and made the story interesting. Blogging is an adult version of a childhood story book.. In most cases, they're our diaries which we publish for others to read. They are the inner workings of our thoughts and opinions. So, why not add a picture?



Things I need to consider when developing my aesthetic will be;

Purchasing an interesting plant (and keeping it alive)

Making sure I have a good fashion mag at hand to throw into the background

Making a good cup of coffee to hold casually (even though I totally cannot drink caffeine) 

A snuggly blanket to drape over my leg - possibly pairing it with the coffee to create the ultimate 'snuggle vibe'? 

Exploring and taking pictures locally where I am casually looking into the distance

Featuring my iPhone

Taking a picture of my blogging set up (well, at least making a blogging set up because I'm currently in my pyjamas with a pillow resting my laptop precariously on my legs).. 

Find a nice wall to stand against 

Make use of my multiple outfits and pose.. (avoid smiling).

and that's just the start!

If the above list sounds like a bit of a poke at 'aesthetic goals', well, that's because it sort of is.
It's slightly crazy to my 2012-self that aesthetic makes for a good blog these days. But, on the other hand - I totally get it! Duh, picture books vibe, Hol?! 

So, have I made a good start? Did my attempt of the aesthetic image make my blog post a creature comfort? Admittedly if you look close enough you can still see the hot chocolate powder around the edges of the mug and my image placement isn't at its best. But, to be honest, for a first go at being a 2018 blogger - I'm pretty content. Of course, this is just an example. I am aiming for my pictures to be more polished and thought out. I aim to give just as much thought to the pictures that partner my blog posts as the writing.

To be honest, this is just one small tiny step that I plan on taking in terms of improving my blog. I have a lot more coming up which is super exciting. My blog will see a lot of changes this year..

This aesthetic journey will be good for me. I will be stretching my photography skills and making use of my Photoshop subscription. Wish me luck boys and gals....


Share:

Friday, 5 January 2018

New Year, New Me?

As 2017 has drawn to a close, I have taken some time to think about all the things that have happened and that I have achieved over the past year. I think that this reflective process is something that pretty much everyone goes through when they are approaching a New Year. Although it is only really a change in date, it can also be an opportunity for a nice 'fresh start'.

I have decided to do a small summary. Although I have a good brain and memory, I obviously cannot remember every day of the year. Perhaps this is something that I will change in the upcoming year..Maybe I should pick up on the trend of writing a sentence a day...or maybe that would be another thing I would have to do daily.


 I celebrated my first ever Valentines Day with my perfect boyfriend

Ever since I started having hormones, I always wanted a Prince Charming of my own. I always wanted that perfect boyfriend. The boyfriend that dotes on your like you're a Princess but also lets you be your own bad ass self. Well, in 2016 I got one of those 'Prince Charmings'. I'm pretty happy with him. On February 14th, 2017 - I celebrated my first ever Valentines Day. It was special and it was a great moment.


I went to Copenhagen! 
This was my first holiday abroad with my BF! We loved exploring even though the weather was on the cold side!




I had another health scare...

I almost didn't put this into my timeline but it happened and it was pretty significant.
In the earlier months of the year, I got told by an incompetent, idiotic doctor that I had cancer.
THIS WAS INCORRECT. IT WAS WRONGLY DIAGNOSED AND BASED ON VERY LITTLE EVIDENCE AND NO MEDICAL EXAMINATION.
So, just to reiterate she was wrong. She made the decision to tell me that I had it based on looking at the large lump in my throat. She told me it could be nothing else but cancer.

I felt a wave of terror surge through my body. I cried and walked out of the Doctor's room.

I spent weeks thinking she was right. I was on a long waiting list for a scan. I didn't think she could be wrong. After all, she was a Doctor, she was bound to know what cancer looked like...

Well, it turns out a Thyroglossal cyst looks a lot like cancer.
A massive lump in my throat that suddenly appeared out of nowhere..
It wasn't until I had a scan done by a specialist that I was told that it was nothing to worry about.
The cyst was harmless.

This was the scariest moment of 2017.
Although I was fortunate enough to have the clear and for it to just be a cyst - the scare made me appreciate my life all over again.

I changed my hair (again) 

As part of a fresh start, I changed my hair again. I wanted something new. So, I decided to bleach my whole head.... I regret this deeply as my hair progressively started snapping off..but, I lived in the moment.


I went on holiday to Thassos!

This was the first holiday that my boyfriend and I had gone on in the sunshine! It was May so it wasn't boiling and to be honest we did see a fair few clouds..But nevertheless it was good to go away.

I lost one of the strongest women I've ever known to the angels.

At the time of my loss I wrote a blog post dedicated to my Grandmother. It was a way for me to write down everything I felt and to pay tribute to her in my own small way. I didn't publish it. All my emotions were raw and it felt too personal. But, something that I majorly went through was loss in 2017. It was extremely tough and was painful. She was one of the toughest cookies that this earth will ever have. She struggled with a long cancerous battle and pulled through harsh attacks of illness so many times. She was the longest survivor in the UK of her type of cancer. But despite this she was always full of laughter and love even until the end. I will always miss her and she is forever in my heart.

I moved out

Although this should have been very exciting, moving out fell into the same week as my loss. It felt like an inappropriate time for me to leave my family home with all things considered. But, life has to carry on so I moved out. We hated the house that we had chosen and we learnt so many lessons about moving out and renting within the months that we lived there. I will probably write a blog post on what I learnt and my experience soon - so, stay tuned!

I got my dream job

This was the highlight in a tough time for me. I managed to get the job of my dreams. It was my biggest achievement in 2017.

I bought my own car

On finance but I did it! I finally own my own car after four years of driving someone else's and it feels goooood!

I moved out again

We managed to miraculously get out of our tenancy early. Our previous house had so many issues and it was time we cut ties with it. It had horrible energy (yes, I believe that places have energies!) and it was no good for us. We are now living in an amazing flat with a sea view. Even though it does break the bank slightly...



I had my first ever Anniversary!!

Yay! My first big relationship milestone. I felt proud that I was finally in a relationship that lasted more than three months... Previously to finding the one that made me this happy and feel like a Princess, I found relationships laborious and a chore..not any more!!


Overall, 2017 was quite life changing for me. I found my dream job, I moved out, bought a car, explored the world and experienced a massive loss. It was eventful to say the least. I believe that everything that happens in life happens for a reason. Even my loss meant that my beautiful Grandmother was finally at peace and not fighting a miserable battle daily. She is with the angels.

2017 taught me a lot. I grew up majorly when I moved out and my worries started becoming things like, 'Do we have enough toilet paper at home?'. Life is a funny old thing. But one thing's for sure, I have a lot to be thankful for. I have a lot of goals for 2018. I am going to be writing them up in a notebook which may transpire into a blog post. At least if I publish my goals onto the internet I may feel a pressure to actually achieve them..

2018 - I'm coming at you with force! This shall be my year to shine and blossom (I've decided, so it must be true..)


What were your 2017 highlights and big moments?




Share:
© I Blog The Fashion | All rights reserved.
Blogger Template Developed by pipdig